KOGI - I'm Crazy for New

The meaning of being? Read Scripture.

The meaning of Kogi? Read on.

“An Idea Born From Late Night Hunger

We take the taste of Korean BBQ and fuse it with select spices to create some of the most unique and savory bites in LA. We’re always on the go, which means we’ll be updating our new locations soon and you can always find us live on Twitter. Fusing the taste of Korean BBQ and the portability of tacos and burritos…” @ KOGIbbq.com

Three months in and already a culinary classic.

I personally favor words accompanied by pictures, a la Mother Goose rhymes, so let’s turn the page of culture and see how Kogi has flipped the script on fine fusion…

Jack be Simple,
Jack be quick,
Jack be needing his Kogi fix

Jack jumped high,
Jack jumped low,
Jack peeved all, buying nineteen tacos

And some other stuff...

It's Simple, Jack: Kogi m-m-m-makes me happy.



Eric, the bespectacled fellow furiously (yet patiently) jotting down our wish list @ the purchase window, interjected mid-order seeming convinced that I had been neglected on the last decade of Christmas: Man, how much are you ordering???

You’re a good man, E, for embracing the spirit of giving. And I’m just a bastard. Precisely, ChinoTrojan is that bastard up front bogarting 24 Choi masterpieces, while deflecting glares from those still waiting to whisper into Santa's ear as they break the news to tardy friends, "DUDE, they're gonna run out of meat again!"


My condolences, fellow Kogi Freaks, but I had 2 other mouths to feed.

And what can I say, Captain E—Oh, I’m already Hook-ed. ARRRRRR~

Steady As She Goes...


CAPSIZED



Enough of the pregame, yeah? Time for tipoff.


STARTING LINEUP

TACOS – Definitely voted for change. Liberally topped with:

+ sesame-chili salsa roja
+ julienne romaine lettuce and cabbage tossed in Korean chili-soy vinaigrette
+ cilantro-green onion-lime relish
+ crushed sesame seeds
+ sea salt

~Korean Short Ribs~
“This is our signature taco. The best trimmings of short ribs in our own special marinade, chopped up nice and small so the flavors dance on your taste buds. On the grill, the fat melts off & the sugars caramelize to create that soft tender texture and deep savory flavor. This is the Kogi crowd favorite.” @ KOGIbbq.com

-thx LA Addict-

Keep the smelling salts in the medical kit; the next time Big Ben gets Deebo-ed on the turf, just wave Kogi’s Short Rib Taco in front of that schnoz to induce revival. (Go Kurt & Cards!)

~Spicy BBQ Chicken~
“Out of strong demand for something really really hot, we decided to make our chicken spicy. With a little bit more kick than our spicy pork taco, this one should get the fire burning.” @ KOGIbbq.com

-thx LA Addict-

If they knew that the hereafter would mean immersion in Kogi’s liquid love, cluckers would clamor at the chance to be Foster’s favorite come draft day. Free-range or crammed in cages, domestic fowl would downright prison shank each other for the honor of being cured, cooked, chopped, and then cuddled by the divine embrace of two maize comforters. Ahhh, hold on, I have to check Twitter for that truck…

~Spicy Pork~
“Spicy and sweet, but all attitude. Our pork first is chopped and is marinated with sweet and spicy flavors. It has so much kick, you’d think that you were running a Korean BBQ in your mouth.” @ KOGIbbq.com

-thx LA Addict-

I’m willing to stake my enviable place toward the front of the line that even the cloven-hoofed swine over at Citigroup would return respectable if they were drenched in Kogi’s virtuous sweet ‘n spicy sauce for 10-hour cycles. Yes, Kogi’s seasonings yield miracles, so no need to hedge that. Go long.

~Tofu~
“We offer tofu as an alternative to those who don’t like meat. The tofu is pan seared and topped with all the fixings. [Heck], it’s so good you should try one even if you’re a strict carnivore.” @ KOGIbbq.com

-thx LA Addict-

Not unlike an acne-tattered teen wielding discipline to abstain from picking her ripened whiteheads, my lovely sister—radiating a beautiful, porcelain complexion*—nary messes with curdled soybean. Oh, how true it was, until Kogi thawed her frosty disregard with its vegetarian offering – one so delectable, that the Trojan linebacking corps would devour these blockheads of tender protein like the Bruin offense on gameday. (Neuheisel: BRING IT)
*Sis – Make that the white, 16-gig model.

BURRITOS – ¿Por qué? Porque…

“Sometimes, you just need a bigger bite to satisfy your hunger which is why we offer breakfast burritos for the truly hungry. We make our burritos with the same signature meat in our tacos and mix it up with hashbrowns, soft scrambled eggs, shredded cheddar and jack cheese, chopped onions and cilantro, chiffonade romain and cabbage lettuce tossed in Korean chili-soy vinaigrette, a pinch of sea salt, a dash of our sesame-chili salsa roja sauce, and sprinkled with toasted sesame seeds.” @ KOGIbbq.com

That kind of poetry gives Homer a run for his Athenian coins.

- thx johnkuo-


-thx oranges are not the only fruit-

SIXTH MAN

PLAT DU JOUR – DISH OF THE DAY if you say freedom fries

Thursday, January 29, 2008

~Chorizo & Egg Taco~
A kicked up Spanish sausage scramble that’ll have you exclaiming “Olé!” And, “Dayam!”

[sorry - this one wasn't ready for its closeup]

~Short Rib Sliders~
The torta, reinvented. What Jobs did with Apple, Choi did with torta. iLovekogi

-thx LA Addict-

~Kimchi Sesame Quesadillas~
Fellow KoAms may ponder, “So simple, why didn’t I think of that before??” Simply, you didn’t. Chef Roy did.

-thx alice-

RESERVES

GARNISHES – The usual suspects @ taquerías: Lime y Radish Wedges, pero…

~Orange Wedges~ por gratis???
You mean, the fount of vitamin C that retails for a dollar per, even during weekly supermarket promotions? Indeed. The only thing the gracious folks at Kogi skimp on is compromise.


GAME RECAP

Vegans are yanking out their gluten-free shampoo treated hair, as Kogi rolls through their towns evangelizing with the sweet redolence of caramelized short ribs, like some crusade for conversion. Receive the bounty of love, return some, and spread the blessings around. Bad-ass, black-bandana-sheathed Chef Roy steers the course, and the burgeoning love from the multitudes keeps Kogi in perpetual motion. “Tell your mother, tell your father, send a telegram.” This tribe is set on a quest for something very special, and ChinoTrojan ardently supports this Love Movement.

“When we first started Kogi, we never really thought of ourselves as entrepreneurs. This truck was something that we really just wanted to have fun with. I guess this goes to show that the key to success is passion and love for what you want to do.” @ KOGIbbq.com

Mark Manguera : founder
Caroline Shin-Manguera : co-founder
Roy Choi : executive chef/co-founder
Alice Shin : public relations
Eric Shin : web administrator/photographer
Steve Yoo : promoter
Mike Prasad : brand/partnerships/marketing
ChinoTrojan : big fan

ChinoTrojan humbly salutes you


FIGHT ON, KOGI

Let's Get It On

Eeny, meeny, miny, MOE
Catch a tiger by the toe
If he hollers let him go,
Eeny, meeny, miny, MOE

My mother said
To pick the very best one
And you are it

WHO WILL YOU VOTE FOuR?

About ChinoTrojan [.blogspot.com]

"I want you to tell all your friends about me.

- What are you?!"

I’m C H I N O T R O J A N

[insert photo]

No hackneyed snapshot of a guy at a sports bar posing with a libation alongside some stunning, obliging waitress whom he grossly overtipped, and for what? In fact, I scarcely take to the bottle, but a frosty pint of on tap served with a proper double pour (a rarity itself) has been known to whet my senses and coax an Irish jig out of your boy on seldom occasion.



ChinoTrojan will likely pass when you reach out with a double shot of Jäger at Mood on a poppin’ weekend along the Hollywood strip. Even so, I’m no party foul, and to evince my appreciation for the amicable gesture, I say "good look" and offer you this sober illustration. Here, here:

Ladies: If George Clooney and Brad Pitt are noted as “10’s” in your books, then score ChinoTrojan as a solid “1” – One that stretches the scale to 20.
Gents: Pray tell, why does this matter?

Truth be told, mirrors shatter when opposite my mug, so your guess is as good as mine.

Established from the outset, the unmistakable purpose of ChinoTrojan.blogspot.com is to serve as a Never Never Land canvas for a cheerful chap to color outside the lines of demarcation and to paint his boyish imagination with broad strokes of fancy. With a most humble heart, ChinoTrojan declares neither to be a Jack of All Trades nor a Master of Some. My web logs might not illuminate any online expressway to monetization, but it seeks to set you on the fast track to a wealth of smiles, cries, and disease-free fun. When posed with the legitimate inquiry of what I write about, I candidly reply, “I’m not sure.” ChinoTrojan just barks the plays at the line of scrimmage and forges down the field for six + two, so getcha popcorn ready.

The important thing to keep in mind about this website is that as you crave a little munch of ChinoTrojan.blogspot.com throughout odd hours of the night, peak hours at your jobs, and every waking moment in between, you will always enjoy 100% guilt-free gratification during consumption. Tear open a bag and share some with your chums, because these nutritious ramblings are analogous to servings of all-natural granola, providing enduring sustenance with only the choicest ingredients:

A delightful commingling of hearty clusters of prose and rhetoric, in balanced harmony with chipper nuggets of lighthearted humor, and sprinkled with wholesome seeds of jovial sarcasm, all punctiliously cultivated without synthetic inputs, to promote well-being and regularity throughout your excursions – It’s the blog that keeps on giving as you keep ticking.

I realize that you may not have learned much about yours truly here, but please understand that the identity of The Dark Knight must be somewhat cloaked in mystery with a top-to-toe leather bodysuit. Still, if ever distressed, just flash my calling card toward the moonlit heavens and ChinoTrojan will swiftly swoop down to your aid—only after holding my pose for the cool extreme wide shot, of course.



When your body is tired, exercise your mind. <~ This pithy maxim was actually plucked from a show on MTV. Yeah. Nonetheless, credit where it’s due (ref. "M*V*P!!! M*V*P!!! M*V*P!!! :two:"). Please visit ChinoTrojan.blogspot.com habitually and free your mind - the rest will follow.

*Shhhhhhh* The show is about to begin.

Please silence your cell phone.



Our feature presentation…






ChinoTrojan’s Pledge of Humility
I vow to never use the third-person singular pronoun "he" in self reference (barring any grammatical flaw), and you can count on that like a Chinaman does an abacus. Xie xie nin.

The Bowel Braggadocios

Something with greater volatility than Alec Baldwin reaching your voicemail has been fermenting in the pit of my stomach. ChinoTrojan’s gotta uncork the agitation by talking some sh!t.



The humble author of ChinoTrojan.blogspot.com was dealt an incredible internal waste management system, which has brewed bitter jealousy among my cohorts. In fact, I have grown peeved by the incontinence of complaints from hosts and building superintendents that I was responsible for clogging their porcelain privies. Stock a plunger and liberate yourselves from the excremental envy, please. Whenever I heed the constipated claims and gastrointestinal grunts that once a week is no need for alarm, my stomach churns and I immediately turn unsettled because ChinoTrojan always root for Big Brown and wants you to neigh and buck like champion thoroughbreds, day in and day out.



Exerting an earnest push to promote burly bowel movements across America and in the septic systems beyond her borders, ChinoTrojan unabashedly presents: The Bowel Braggadocios – Mine is Bigger than Yours.

Beloved readers, I want you to develop a healthy ego about your regularity as you experience the pleasures of enjoying a robust colon. Akin to producing real change in American politics, this calls for a concerted sweat by the people. It’s no secret that holding it in only makes it worse, so let us all serve as compassionate purging agents by releasing testimonials, dropping genuine advice, and flinging pellets of encouragement here on ChinoTrojan.blogspot.com, and together, we can work to alleviate the bloated strain from waiting for the payoff.

With The Bowel Braggadocios forum, guests can compare their schedule of visits against that of altruistic contributors from all walks of life. No matter where you flush, ChinoTrojan appreciates the diversity of participation, because variety is the spice of life, and spices help us “go.”

To stimulate peristalsis of feedback, I will select and honor “The Bowel Braggadocio of the Month” on the first Monday of each month. I want to set it off proper at each turn of your calendar, since a case of the Mondays is almost as dreadful as a case of the runs—and ChinoTrojan recently triumphed from a weeklong bout with that familiar foe. Who knows? I may just start to hook up a guerdon for earning such distinction…Like stubborn smudges from yesterday's sloppy joe, however, that will inevitably be in your hands.

And so, the next time you’re doing the savage Braveheart revolt at the job and happen to spot a set of shoes in the stall adjacent to yours, acknowledge your fellow colleague, as opposed to carrying out any feeble attempts to buffer the battle cries with a faux cough during the blitzkrieg. Only then will you defeat Longshanks and be on the path to true discovery of why the caged bird sings.

In closing, I dedicate this cathartic web log to:

my Maker,

the , , ,

and the countless publications & periodicals comprising “bathroom material” that chip in to make #2 the #1 part of my day. ChinoTrojan goes once, goes twice, more frequently than vintage Ferraris at RM Auctions. Place a winning bid and be the wind beneath someone’s wings today.

“I have taken off my makeup. Now, let’s see if you can take off yours.” – The Joker, Tim Burton’s Batman (1989)

My name is ChinoTrojan, and I am a Bowel Braggadocio.

Caveat for Participation:
Let’s maintain decorum here. Without vacillation, ChinoTrojan will gladly watch the Coriolis effect pirouette your dingleberry comments down le potty if you don’t exercise the common decency of a courtesy flush prior to submission (ref. “M-V-P!!! M-V-P!!! M-V-P!!! :one:”). Remember: a five second spray covers a 50 sq. ft. room. Keep your finger on the trigger and save a life. Thank you, please go again.

Before I go…

Sharting* sure soils the mood, but winning disperses a warm sensation throughout that leaves you exultant. The Los Angeles Lakers have made prompt disposal of the San Antonio Turds, and it would be refreshing to see irresponsible, urban dog owners following suit. Don’t call it a comeback. We—yes, WE—are en route to our 15th NBA Championship!


*Sharting (verb) = Sh!tting + Farting = When a baker slathers schmear on a kettle-boiled, hearth-baked, pumpernickel air bagel after you ordered it dry. Come again? Squeezing pulp from juicy flatulence.

Here's to your health.

Cold. Play.

What’s that bumpin’ in the enthralling iTunes commercial?



Viva la Vida - Let it swirl around and make you merry like



If this doesn’t Fix You, then you must be a toe-tagged stiff.



Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends drops June Seventeenth.

Cold. Play.