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ChinoTrojan hooks up the goods to shower sunshine on this gloomy day.

"Thank you!"

You're welcome.

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M*V*P!!! M*V*P!!! M*V*P!!! :one:

EPISODE I – ATTACK OF THE CLONES

“Booyahkasha! Set it off proper, Chinchizzle,” beseeched the Left and Right pundits. In the spirit of our blessed democracy, I will frolic above the fray with civil discourse on the most prominent issue facing America today: the denial of the National Basketball Association voters.

1. Human beings are the most advanced living organisms in the world.
2. Our highly developed brain capacitates us to stifle flatulence in crowded elevators.
3. Homo sapiens are the only species able to wipe themselves after expelling a wicked one and furnished with the cognizance for a courtesy flush accompanied with a spritz of Glade (where available).

Why, then, for the love of durable two-ply, has Kobe Bryant never ever been honored as the NBA’s Regular Season Most Valuable Player??? There’s a certain odor about that, and it’s time to Febreeze this piece. Thrice denied, and don’t even get ChinoTrojan started on Dirk…

As I sit here delicately excavating my left nostril then furiously wiping off my pinky on a Michael Finley basketball card, ChinoTrojan remains enraged by this persistent poppycock, which pleads successive generations of volitional inbreeding. There is feverish exchange across the Seven Seas about the best athlete in the glo-ball-ized era of professional roundball, yet all the while, the only worthwhile impassioned vociferation is a unified rally for naming Kobe Bryant as the league’s MVP.

For those Neanderthals that actually prefer the full screen format in this modern age of gorgeous 16:9, ChinoTrojan will enlighten the antediluvians on who KB24 is, but please demonstrate some elementary propriety and raise your hand before speaking:

Born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, on August 23, 1978, to parents Joe “Jellybean” and Pam Bryant, Kobe Bean: grew up to win 3 consecutive NBA World Championships commencing at the turn of the millennium; remains the youngest player in NBA record to amass 16,000 points; achieved back-to-back NBA top scoring honors in 2006 & ’07; and went off for a silly 81 points during regulation in a single NBA contest—All before the age of 30. Class dismissed.

Kobe Bryant has been blackballed by certified haters. Speaking of systematic ostracism at its most despicable, ChinoTrojan will always remember the former longstanding estrangement between the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences and the Spectacled Sicilian…

Raging Bull? A fixed fight.
The Last Temptation of Christ? A rabid pack of Judases.
Good Fellas? Not a “friend of ours.”
Gangs of New York? A bunch of Miss Nancies.
The Aviator? Conspired hijacking.
The Departed? John 3:16.

Ol’ Eyebrows was finally acknowledged as Auteur Suprême, while King Kong keeps beating his chest for a chance with Ann Darrow. The brilliant Thelma Schoonmaker, A.C.E. could chop up at least an armful of Oscar-worthy flicks with all of Kobe’s raw highlight footage. What’s a brotha gotta do in order to get made? Turn 31?

Chino/Trojan '08 - The Inaugural Post

my doctor scribbled blogging*
as a remedy for unclogging
the boogers in my nogging
with routine verbal jogging

*perform as recommended by a physician

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Heroin - Marketed by Bayer pharmaceuticals as a non-addictive morphine substitute and cough medicine for children (circa 1900)

Bollocks! No bloody tomfoolery here, mates. Cheers.